A Life Succinct
by Mickey3
Summary: After Daniel's ascension, a very upset and angry Jack tries to sort out his feelings over the situation.


**A Life Succinct  
By Mickey**

Status: Completed 11/17/2008

Season: 5

Spoilers: Meridian

Categories: Angst, Drama, Episode Tag, Friendship, Tragedy, PoV

Content Warnings: Strong language. Three words. Pissed. Off. Jack. 'Nuff said.

Archive Permission: Ask first. I'll probably say yes.

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Don't sue.

Word Count: 978

Author's Notes: While part of this may seem like Jonas bashing, it isn't. I actually like Jonas. Just keep in mind that this is told from the PoV of a man who has just lost a very good friend and is lashing out at the world for it. Many thanks to Lisa and Annie for the beta.

* * *

I killed another friend today, just a little bit ago. Okay, so that isn't _technically_ true, but that's how it feels. I think that's how Carter sees it. I know she's angry with me. Not really sure what Teal'c thinks. Even after all these years, it's still kinda hard to determine what he's thinking sometimes. Maybe he agrees with what I did. Not really sure what Hammond's thinking either. Understanding, I hope. Janet, I think she hates me right now. Can't say I really blame them, especially the doc. She's a doctor after all. Do no harm and all that jazz. Then again, how was letting him die a slow and painful death when you knew there was _nothing_ you could do to heal him or stop the pain doing no harm?

What was I supposed to do? What could I do? Daniel was dying, slowly and extremely painfully, he asked me to stop Jacob from healing him. To let him "die".

So I did. Because he's my friend and was suffering. Jacob said himself that he wouldn't be able to fully heal Daniel; he was too far-gone for that. What kind of life would he have had if I hadn't stopped it? One filled with pain, and medications, and nauseating side effects from all the pills and drugs he'd have to be on? I did what he wanted me to do.

Does that make me a murderer?

Does it make Jacob one?

Does it mean that Daniel just committed suicide? That whole 'he's not _really_ dead' thing aside.

Honestly, I don't know. I don't know what to think about the whole damn situation. I don't know if, had Daniel actually died, he would go to hell for committing suicide. Don't know if Jacob or I could be charged with anything if this was to ever actually go to trial. I really don't even give a fuck.

I _do_ know that I'm so pissed off at the Kelownans right now, especially Jonas, that they could blow their whole freaking planet right out of existence and I wouldn't give a shit. I might even throw a party and celebrate if they ever do manage it. Which I'm sure they will.

I'm pissed, but not surprised, that my own government is willing to go along with the Kelownan cover-up even though they know damn well the bastards are lying their asses off. The goddamn politicians are willing to let Daniel's good name be dragged through the mud, labeled a murderer and a terrorist, or whatever label they think up. By accepting naquadria they are sanctioning the equivalent of a nuclear friggin' attack. Bastards.

I'm furious at those idiot scientists who were so damn stuck on themselves that they couldn't see past their own egos to realize the danger in what they were doing. The government officials who sanctioned this shit then refused to hear Daniel out are high up on my 'dig their fucking heart out with a dull spoon' list as well. Talk about your fucking power hungry sons-of-bitches. Even with what happened to Daniel and their own people, knowing what _would_ have happened if Daniel hadn't saved their ungrateful asses, they are still going ahead with the project.

Jonas Quinn is also at the top of my hit list. That brown-nosing little coward was there! He was in that room when the shit hit the fan and he didn't do a damn thing. He made no move to help any of them. He knows the damn truth. He's toeing that fucking party line and going along with his government's depiction of what happened. If he were half the man Daniel was he would have at least _tried_ to help his own people . . . and Daniel. At the very least, he could have stood up to his government and told the truth instead of going along with the cover up and the lies without so much as a word of protest. To top it all off, he actually approached me and acted like he gave a rat's ass about Daniel!

Oh, and then there's me. I'm angry with myself too. He is . . . was a part of my team. That makes him my responsibility. I hate the fact that I let him wander around like that on his own. If Teal'c, Carter, or I had been with him we could have stopped him. Even if I'd have had to concuss him, I would have stopped him. I should have insisted one of us go with him. I should have listened to my gut.

Mostly, right now, I am so pissed at Daniel. This is all his freaking fault anyway. He tried to warn those idiots about what could happen, but they refused to listen. He should have high tailed it out of there and left the morons to their fate.

Later on, I know feel guilty about being mad at Daniel. After all, a cheetah can't change its spots and I knew what he was like from the get go. But right now, this very minute, I don't care. I'm still standing here by his "death" bed, where he lay in agonizing pain for over half a day, alone (the others all left hours ago). Hurting and angry, and Daniel isn't here, which makes him an easy target.

Damn you, Daniel. Damn you for leaving me. For leaving us. Damn you for asking me to make that decision. You know full well that the reason you came to me had nothing to do with our friendship. It was because you knew I was the only one who would do it. The only one who _could_ do it. Damn you for getting yourself into that situation in the first place. Do the words self-preservation mean _anything_ to you? But most of all, damn you for making me care in the first place.

_THE END_


End file.
